HOW IT WORKS:
You apply.
We judge.
You level up.
You get matches that aren't bots.
You send us a wedding invitation (or at least a thank you DM)
Results are not guaranteed. We're not magicians.
Captain Cringe: Red Flag Rehab (Full Profile Triage)
$97.00 USD
$147.00 USD
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Captain Cringe: Red Flag Rehab - BEST SELLER!!
Launch Price: $97 | Regular Price: $147
Ahoy, Captain Cringe. Welcome to your dating profile intervention.
You’ve got red flags flapping like a pirate ship in a storm, and we’re here to rehab your bio before it sinks your chances.
We’ll audit your photos, suggest better photos, rewrite your tagline and bio, and guide you on the rest of your profile without making you walk the plank.
Includes:
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Full profile audit + red flag breakdown
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3 keep/swap/delete photo audits (Your first pic is the most important part of your profile. Are you using the right one?)
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Suggestions for better photo choices
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One bio rewrite, customized for platform of your choice (yes, we know what works on Tinder vs Bumble).
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New tagline
- No fluff. Expert advice for a profile that doesn't blend in.
Because "bro-vice" didn't get you very far. And your mom is great, but not who your dates want running your love life. The pros have your back.
UP TO 50% OFF!
It's not the sea–it's your bait.
Limited time launch specials!
Still single? Yeah, we noticed.
If your ex would say, he's a good guy, but....this is your redemption arc.